10 Old Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again

This has nothing to do with the content of my blog, except that it is a discussion of cultural values during dating. I’m reposting because I like the suggestions.

Thought Catalog

1. Coming to the door to pick someone up.

I think we’ve all had it with the incredibly unromantic “here” text, and meeting up always seems to be more casual and platonic than the alternative. Of course, meeting someone from online or any circumstance like that would probably be the exception to this rule, but generally: the 30 seconds it takes to get out of a car or cab and knock on the door makes a huge difference.

2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date.

“Nicely” means different things for different people, so I think it’s just a matter of putting effort into how you put yourself together to go out with someone. It’s not about wearing suits and petticoats again, but just realizing that, whether or not we like to accept it, appearance does count for something, and we should do our best to make sure that…

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One thought on “10 Old Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again

  1. John Bartelloni

    Great points.
    I am a heterosexual male from the old school. My response is based on those characteristics.

    Point One: I believe that a gentleman will come to the door and knock politely. Getting out of his car shows that he cares.

    Point Two: How a man dresses shows how he feels about himself and his company. When my mother was in high school, her father would not let her leave unless her date came to the door wearing a tie ! ! ! Now I don’t wear ties on dates very often, but I do try to wear a sport coat or navy blazer when doing so would be appropriate.

    Point Three: I think you need to be very careful here. As the writer acknowledges, the wrong gift can be just a little too forward. I like the idea, but certainly not on every first date.

    Point Four: There were casualties in the sexual revolution. One was allowing emotional and physical intimacy to develop slowly over time. A noisy club is no place to get to know someone. Slow dancing is so warm and beautiful. It is waiting to be re-discovered. Your followers in the DC area might be heartened to know about the weekly classes at Glen Echo: http://www.glenechopark.org/calendar/2014-01?field_event_type_value=dances.

    Point Five: The “hanging out” and “just talking” might work for some, but definitely not for me. Yes, rejection hurts, but I would rather be rejected than left in the dark. Besides, rejection can be viewed as a gift; one person is telling another up front that something is just not working or will not work out.

    Point Six: There is a vey important conversation that needs to take place. Equally important is that it not take place too soon or too late. Timing is paramount.

    Point Seven: Done this many times. Glad to see someone agrees.

    Point Eight: In general, I think it rude not to disconnect while out on a date. Electronics should aid, rather than rule our lives.

    Point Nine: I attended an Emerge (https://waves.gmu.edu/programs-and-services/programs-2/emerge/) session at GMU several years ago. One of the moderators mentioned that once a man had actually asked permission to kiss her.. His approach obviously worked; she had married him.

    Point Ten: A gentleman knows that a date is not a quid pro quo. On the issue of first date sex, I tend to think that it is usually a bad idea. Instant intimacy can sabotage the possibility of a healthy relationship. Many years ago I met a wonderful woman. We went out off and on for several years. We NEVER had sex. Why? Well, we just weren’t ready. There is no doubt we could have done so. I am, after all, John Bartelloni. Of all the women in my past, she remains one of my favorites. She married a great guy and I have always wished her well.

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